17 Ways to Comfort a Loved One Who's Sick or Dying

People whose loved ones are dying can make them more comfortable by following 17 simple techniques that can be done either in the hospital or at home.

Marilee Tolen, a Registered Nurse in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, includes the tips in her free special report "17 Natural Ways to Comfort Your Loved One Who is Sick or Dying." They include:

1. Clear and straighten the environment.

2. Place meaningful mementos and photos of loved ones within their view.

3. Play soft music or nature sounds.

4. Wipe face and eyes with a warm, moistened, soft washcloth.

5. Help them to look presentable, and let them know that they do.

6. Hold their hand.

7. Gently brush their brow with a light touch.

Tolen, a former Intensive Care Nurse and Board Certified Holistic Nurse, has been following her father's wishes to tell the world about how peaceful dying can be.

"Two nights before my father died, he told me that the conditions that we created for his death and dying process were making it very peaceful for him," she said. "He said he thought everyone should experience a peaceful death and he believed it was possible by just carrying out the measures that we did for him at home."

The holistic therapies gave him great relief from his suffering.

Ten months after her father died, she hosted a professional health care symposium, bringing in experts on topics such as massage therapy, music therapy, energy therapy and aromatherapy--some of the effective therapies that she used at home in her father's care and while he was dying. More than 200 people attended, including many health care professionals. Tolen used the proceeds to start a scholarship fund to help finance education in Complementary Therapies in End of Life Care. The fund, called the M.J. Tolen Scholarship Fund, named after her parents, is housed at Samaritan Hospice, a non-profit hospice located in Marlton, New Jersey.

Tolen also created a national day of recognition for Complementary Therapies in End-of-Life Care called Peaceful Passages Day. It's on November 26 for two reasons--to help wrap up National Hospice Month, and it's the anniversary of her father's death. She wants to let people know that there are simple, safe and effective measures that anyone can carry out to comfort a love one who's dying.

Learn more about Peaceful Passages and download the free special report on "17 Natural Ways to Comfort Your Loved One Who is Sick or Dying" at http://www.peacefulpassages.org/. To learn ways to stay healthy naturally with holistic therapies that you can do for yourself at home, visit Tolen's other website at http://www.homespalady.com/


Originally posted on lifestyletom.com

The Hospice Conversation - Talking with Your Family

Here are tips from Samaritan's hospice professionals on how to have the difficult conversation about pursuing hospice care with your loved one:

Gently Introduce the Topic with Open-Ended Questions

• Who do you want to make decisions about your care if you are not able to speak for yourself?
• What types of medical treatments do you wish to receive or not wish to receive?
• How comfortable do you wish to be?
• How do you wish to be treated? What special things, activities, etc. are important to you?
• What would you want to communicate to your loved ones if you were no longer able to communicate?

Listen Carefully Using Both Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication

• Verbal Communication
  - Use easy- to-understand words.
  - Speak in an honest and sincere tone
  
• Nonverbal Communication
  - Sit in a comfortable chair and non-distracting surroundings.
  - Make eye contact.

Consider Your Family Dynamics

• Who else needs to be included/informed?
• What advance communications need to happen to minimize stress?

Do Your Homework and Communicate Your Findings

• Analyze your financial issues and explore possible tax breaks, etc.
• Look into availability of transitional, home care, hospice services, respite care or long-term care options.
• Apply for and become familiar with special benefit entitlements (e.g. Medicare, Medicaid, veterans' benefits, etc.).

Make a record of your planning

• Don't trust your memory. Write it down!
• Keep it in a safe place.

If you have questions about whether Samaritan can provide assistance to you and your family, we encourage you to call 1-800-229-8183 or email us at any point during an illness.

Share Your Story

Samaritan's patients and families allow us the privilege of entering their homes and their lives to offer support at a delicate time. It is an honor that we value and those experiences have shaped our organization.

As we reflect back on our 30 years of caring for South Jersey families coping with serious illness and grief, we would like to know how we have affected you. Please share your thoughts with us by clicking on the "Comment" link below.

Creating Lasting Memories: One Family’s End-of-Life Journey

Madlyn with Massage Therapist Margie Neil

“I’m not ready to die yet,” Madlyn Flannick, 92, told a friend who suggested she call Samaritan Hospice in October of 2008 to help care for her and her heart disease.

“You don’t have to die right now,” her friend, and Samaritan Hospice volunteer Marian Fink, replied.

Madlyn thought about it and said, “If I don’t have to die right now, I’ll join.”

Madlyn, who lived alone, was enrolled in Samaritan’s Transitions program for those not quite ready for hospice care. After recovering from a stroke, and experiencing a progression of her heart disease, Madlyn moved in with family and transitioned to Samaritan’s hospice program in June 2009.

Madlyn now lives surrounded by the love of her daughter, Mary, son-in-law, Al and two granddaughters: Megan, 22 and Kelly, 18. In a recent letter to Samaritan Hospice, Madlyn wrote, “I wish to send my heartfelt thanks for your kindness. Without your help, I would not be able to live with my family.”

Now all under one roof, the family reminisces about stories from Madlyn’s younger years growing up as the sixth of nine children; her career as a hairdresser and cosmetologist that continued even after she officially retired at the age of 75; and her renowned baked goods. These days Madlyn’s son-in-law makes the cookies while she “engineers” and she agrees to help granddaughter Kelly make “her” pumpkin pie.

“I never knew there was so much, that there was anything like this,” says Madlyn of Samaritan Hospice services. “I get attention I never got before. I can’t believe it.” Samaritan Hospice provides Madlyn and her family with visits from nurses, a social worker, chaplain, certified home health aide, volunteer, massage therapist and music therapist. They also receive medications and medical equipment delivered to their home at no charge.

As Madlyn’s illness progresses, the staff and volunteers of Samaritan Hospice are there to offer the family comfort, support and education; and to provide them the opportunity to spend special moments with each other in the comfort of the family’s home.

Samaritan’s staff doesn’t only give; they also receive a lot from Madlyn. Her smile brings them joy and her stories provide them happiness. “There’s some type of a connection to her, some twinkle in her eye,” said social worker Sherri Brake. “There’s just something about her that makes you feel very connected to her, and I think whatever that is she would say it’s some kind of a higher power. It makes you feel like you’ve known her forever.”

Madlyn also shares her philosophy on life with all who walk through her door, “If everybody took care of one person, then everybody would be taken care of,” she says whole-heartedly. Madlyn has done her share of taking care of many people throughout her life, and now it is the turn of her family and the healthcare professionals of Samaritan Hospice to take care of her.

New Support Groups for Winter/Spring 2010

The Samaritan Center for Grief Support has scheduled a series of support groups for members of our community coping with loss, regardless of whether or not their loved one received Samaritan’s hospice services. The groups meet at the Samaritan Center for Grief Support located at 5 Eves Drive, Suite 180 in Marlton. While there is no charge, pre-registration is required by calling (800) 596-8550.

Grieving the Love of Your Life is a six-session group for those grieving the loss of a spouse or partner that will meet Wednesdays at 1:00 p.m. beginning January 27.

Understanding Grief, a one-time informational session on the grief process, will meet on Monday, February 1 at 6:00 p.m.

Early Endings is a six-session group for younger adults grieving the loss of a spouse or partner that will meet Mondays at 6:00 p.m. beginning March 22.

Sharing in Grief and Hope is a six-session group for adults grieving the loss of a family member or friend. The group will meet Tuesdays at 6:00 p.m. beginning March 16.

Understanding Grief, a one-time informational session on the grief process, will meet on Monday, April 5 at 6:00 p.m.

Grieving the Love of Your Life is a six-session group for those grieving the loss of a spouse or partner that will meet Wednesdays at 6:00 p.m. beginning May 5.

To register for a group, or for more information on the additional grief support services available, please call (800) 596-8550.

Season of Giving

During this season of giving, we are so grateful for our team members in Camden County and Centennial Surgery Center for "adopting" families with special needs. Above, Samaritan Social Worker Sherri Brake (right) picks up gifts from Centennial Surgery Center to deliver before Christmas.

Samaritan Hospice offers pet therapy

by Megan Drake * Examiner.com

Do you recall that saying “the two things in life no one can avoid are death and taxes?”

Well, I’ve seen people get away without paying taxes but the truth remains no one will live forever.

The hospice movement came late to the United States compared with other countries but now that it’s here there are many dedicated hospice organizations that provide palliative care for the terminally diagnosed. Read more...